Carter takes on Europe – in his pants

Stop the press! All Black superstar Dan Carter has revealed that he never goes ‘commando’ and has never worn women’s underwear.

And fans of the talismanic New Zealand and Crusaders pivot can sleep easy in the knowledge that his underpants don’t chafe.

It is not known whether other All Black greats have suffered from chafing to their nether regions.

True, Buck Shelford once instructed a physio to stitch up his ripped scrotum on the side of the pitch so he could play on, but the hard-as-nails loose forward could have avoided that slightly perturbing affair had he been in Carter’s kaks.

The New Zealand and Crusaders fly-half has just been unveiled as the “new international ambassador” for Jockey’s latest “3D innovation collection” – and he swears by the “anatomically researched” undies.

The 26-year-old also revealed that he has about twenty pairs of Jockey pants and “had to wash and re-wear them like everyone else”.

Carter’s crown jewels are held in place by “constructed three-dimensional stretch cotton” and “power leg bindings for perfect support”.

He can also count on an “angled functional fly front” and “innovative bias cutting technology”, not to mention “anatomically tilted ribbed leg openings”.

Giant billboards of Carter frolicking in his underpants will be erected across Europe in the lead-up to the forthcoming Rugby World Cup.

But if you really must get a sneak preview, check out Jockey’s website – you’ll find a rather disturbing looped video of Carter performing endless sit-ups in his grundies.

“The Jockey 3D technology features sophisticated patterns that enable the garments to mirror the movements and shape of the human body,” gushed the press release.

“Move over David Beckman [sic] – there’s a Kiwi sporting star making a challenge on your home territory.”

By Andy Jackson 365 Digital